Modeling Resilience for Others…Are you “that guy”?

Yesterday, as I was backing up, I was jerked back in my seat as my car thudded to a stop.

This unpleasant feeling was coupled with the sickening sound track of smashing glass and crumpling bumper.

I had hit one of the columns that bordered my driveway entrance.

It was a simple result of being preoccupied and having parked too close to the edge of the driveway.

My first thought was, of course “Oh great….how much is this going to cost?” along with what an unnecessary waste of money and time this was.

I then thought about all the fun things I could have bought with the money I was going to spend on fixing my car.

If only I had been paying attention.

Then I thought about my friend Greg Fall of Core Concepts.

He recently A) hit a deer with his Ford Explorer which put his Explorer out of commission for over a week, and B) had something costing several hundred dollars stolen from his vehicle.

In both instances when I offered sympathy, he said “I don’t get upset over those types of things.”

I found myself thinking “Well, if my buddy Greg doesn’t let those things ruin his day, if he doesn’t obsess about them, I don’t have to either!”

Even Though I Know and Teach This Stuff…

Now, keep in mind, I KNOW misery is optional.

I know how our thoughts affect our emotions, and that we can choose our thoughts…and therefore we can change our emotions.

I teach this stuff.

And…that simple act of remembering how my friend Greg modeled these practices in action got me back on track in a flash.

I didn’t have to go through this big Challenging Negative Self-Talk process. All I had to do was remember what Greg modeled.

From there, I reminded myself of good old Instant Perspective, i.e. – “A year from now, will this be a big deal?” and “In the scheme of things, will whatever it ends up costing, really affect my life?”

Of course, the answer to both was “No.”

So, I went on and had a great day.

So…I share this with you for three reasons:

1) To encourage you to pay attention to how people react to difficult situations and adversity, and take note of the resilient responses—and learn to use them yourself.

2) To encourage you to notice the ways people stress themselves out, the words they use, the ways they interpret situations in a negative light, and then examine yourself to see if you’re doing these.

3) To remind you that you can be a great role model for others, through your words and actions. You don’t have to be some personal development icon to affect others. With that in mind, remember when you bring your best self to a situation, it’s not just you who benefits. Others are watching and learning.

BTW, getting the process in motion with my insurance company (Holden Insurance) and the collision shop I chose (Prime Collision) couldn’t have been smoother or easier. I share that because it’s another great example of how unproductive and inaccurate Fortune Telling and Catasphrozing can be. I could have kept telling myself throughout the day that it was going to be a big hassle to deal with my insurance company and the body repair shop, and gotten myself stressed ahead of time.

And it all would have been fiction…written my me.

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