“I am responsible for my emotional state”, repeat…”I am responsible…”

I just read an excellent, thought-provoking blog posted titled Go Ahead-Push My Buttons  by Kathy Toon, author of Put Your Game Face On and a three time NCAA winning coach.

It reminded me of the “I am responsible for my emotional state” saying my friend Fran Liautaud has used over the years when talking about difficult people she’s needed to deal with.

When I let someone push my buttons, I try to remember to correct my self-talk or “out loud talk” from:

“They really ticked me off” to “I made myself upset about what they said.”

It’s like people who say “That offended me!” with the subliminal message being:

“You made me feel this way and now it’s up to you to change that by apologizing.”

While I’m very much into courtesy and civility, it’s not another person’s job to change their point of view or not frame their thoughts in Thought Police PC language, so we can stop being offended.

That’s our job.

Just as our emotional state is our responsibility.

I’m not saying it’s easy. It certaintly isn’t for me.

But…by holding ourselves accountable for our emotions and our reactions, we take back the power we give others when we allow them to “push our buttons”, whether it’s being offended, hurt, irritated, or any other emotion that brings out a lesser version of ourselves.

So…if you want to get better at being in charge of your own emotional state, check out Coach Toon’s post and also stay tuned to new posts on changing self-talk and our explanatory style.

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